The Breaking Dawn
Danger seeped into the space where Katie had hoped that she would be safe. Fear held her captive as she tried to hold her breathe so as not to be exposed. Her fight to survive had not even begun, but before she could put any plan to work as she hoped and pray that this moment, this night would not be her finale existence on earth. Waiting had become perilous and with one last bit of bravery she felt her legs moving, ducking and watching every inch around her as she slowly began to run. The darkness fell quietly and without cause to the rest of the world, but for one young woman the darkness had just increased her chances of dying a hundred percent.
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The Breaking Dawn
Golden red shadows danced around the room, illuminating a warm security within the den, not yet felt by Katie. She sat in her oversized brown recliner wrapped in a cozy, country blanket staring out into the darkness that now covered the Earth. Her bodied warmed by the fire and blanket, she found no warmth in her soul. The ordeal of having come so close to death left her spirit in a hollow state.
Richard stood at the doorway of the den, hands relaxed inside the pockets of his casual pants, his thoughts reflecting back on the past week. He could sense the emptiness in Katie’s heart and the fear that continued to swell inside her mind. Her smile so weak but sparkling as ever, her eyes had lost the gleam that had once been there. It was this loss in Katie that worried him so very much. Richard moved carefully from the doorway taking small, deliberate steps to where Katie sat.
His warm, strong, hand gently stretched out to caress her lightly blushed face. Katie reached up, reassuringly pressing his hand to her cheek. Her eyes remained on the darkness outside the window as she struggled to accept the love that he offered. Turning to look at Richard, her eyes moistened with tears, Katie spoke just barely above a whisper,
“So many thoughts to separate, so many feelings of turmoil in my heart and mind. I can’t see through the darkness anymore.” Her voice reflected the lingering fear.
The glow from the fire accentuated the glistening in Katie’s eyes as Richard squatted down by the chair. He could feel the terror that remained locked inside her soul. He felt his own pain at having come so close to losing her. He then began speaking softly,
“Your darkness comes from your fear Katie. A fear only you can define, and overcome. So, what is it that you really need to define and overcome?” his words spoken in the gentlest matter he could create. He knew that Katie’s fear had originated from wounds deeper other than her brush with death.
She touched his loving face tracing the edge of his jawline and slightly brushing his bottom lip with the tip of thumb. Looking at him with tenderness, one tear softly rolled down her saddened face and streaming onto her housecoat only to be absorbed as if it never existed with a look of horror and hope mingling together. In Katie’s mind, she knew that Richard truly lover her and she loved him as well, but her heart and soul battled that feeling.
Sighing, Katie spoke, with her thoughts and own deep sense of control weighing in on the words not yet spoken.
“When I was down in the sub-basement, seconds from dying, I swear I could touch John’s soul.” Pain swelled up inside of her as memories of what she had experienced drew forth into words.
“For a moment, just a moment, I knew my own death was imminent. I felt John beside me and I was ready to go with him, beyond this world.” Her voice cracked as she admitted it out loud, since the attack, that she wanted and so welcomed death. Richard was in agony for Katie, his dark brows drew together as he realized just how affected she had been by her late husband’s death. John had been the very light in Katie’s soul. She had drawn her greatest strength from him. His death had crushed her spirit, but until she faced death herself, all emotions connected to John had been buried deep inside her.
Richard knew her emotional struggle had resurfaced and intensified. Now, because of her own brush with death, she was dealing with the loss of John in a way that she had never allowed herself to.
“Did you fight to stay alive for yourself Katie, or for Johns memory? Do you want to live? Really live? Or are you just waiting around to join him at a later date?” His words sounded harsh, maybe sterner than intended but the question had to be asked.
Smiling at him for the first time since having left the hospital, she replied,
“I had to live, I had to live in order to be the person John knew I could be. He told me I had to fight, fight for my life. There’s no way I could make you understand what happened in those few seconds before you found me…” Her voice trailed off as she remembered those unexplainable, terrifying moments.
“What did you want to live for Katies?” Richard asked feeling a lump in his throat as though he had two Adam’s apples side by side, he could barely breath. He feared the answer, but knew that there would be no tomorrow without it. Holding his breath, he waited for her response.
“John showed me that by living I kept him alive. I now know that happiness for me is loving and always holding onto my memories of John. I know I have to move on as well. I know this sounds crazy and for days I just thought I was still feeling the effects of my trauma, but I swear to you, it was John’s spirit that gave me the strength to fight.” She took Richards hands and covered them with hers. Lightly caressing his hands with a comforting touch, she looked him the eyes,
“I know that I wanted to live for us. No more guilt and no more sorrow or locking myself away with the cases of others. John reminded me in those few seconds why I had to hold on to life and death in the same breath. It’s the very reason why I practice law, I serve to protect others in need. The law will no longer be my hideaway from life. Johns spirit filled my soul and there in that dark basement, with my attacker so close at hand, I was released from the guilt of my beloved’s death. He and I loved each other for as long as life allowed us to and when our time together had ended, so had my desire to love.”
Tears swelled up in her eyes as she looked at this man that with any intentions she had fallen in love with. This was the beginning to truly acknowledging her feelings for him. Continuing her thoughts, she said in a very soft whisper, “I was wrong, I was so wrong.”
“What exactly did John tell you about love, Katie?” Richard needed to ask. He was hoping that she would empty her heart past her own guilt about loving him.
Katie smiled and lightly touched her lips to Richards before she spoke. She swallowed hard and replied, “That true love must be shared with the living, the memory of love within the heart lives on and that both partners give each other the respect that they deserve. To love again now is the only way I can heal myself and continue to help others.”
“Are you ready to come out of the darkness and love again, really love?” Richard asked holding her hands so tightly that she knew he would never let go.
Turning to the window as visuals of red, pink, and purple hues splashed across the horizon blending together Katie took one deep cleansings breath in order to let all of her suffering and anguish finally resolve in her heart and soul. Katie scanned the skyline as a twinkling star shot across the warm colors of the mornings dawn. Like the breaking of a new day, the sorrow in Katie’s heart broke free, and the spirit of John was released all across the horizon to forever shine over her, warm and content, as love should be.
Speaking with a new passion that now filled the once empty space inside her soul, she smiled saying, “The breaking heart is like the breaking dawn. It saddens us to acknowledge the beauty will be gone, but the memory of that beautiful love inspires us to await the experience once more. I have come out of the darkness and the breaking dawn will forever remind me and hold me to the thought of always loving you for as long as time will allow us. I do love you Richard, and I will always love you from this day forward.” Katie stood up from the chair as Richard put his arms around her, pulling her close to his heart.
The two figures stood, arms wrapped tightly around each other, gazing out into the horizon. The majestic colors spread out across the peak of the beginning sunrise. The breaking dawn forever broke the darkness of Katie’s guilt. Like, the breaking dawn of each new day Katie and Richard’s passion would endure and burn brighter and brighter until their deaths allowed them to do so no more.
The End
C.J. Ayers